Article 97834 of comp.sys.amiga.hardware:
Path: rcfnews.cs.umass.edu!barrett
From: barrett@cs.umass.edu (Daniel Barrett)
Newsgroups: comp.sys.amiga.hardware,comp.sys.amiga.programmer
Subject: BLAZEMONGER never left (was Re: YES!!! TOASTER-PC IS HERE!!!)
Date: 11 Aug 1995 17:30:39 GMT
Organization: BLAZEMONGER INCORPORATED
Lines: 74
Message-ID: <40g440$8hb@kernighan.cs.umass.edu>
References: <40b2a1$m72@bs33n.staffs.ac.uk> <40bakb$2en@liberator.et.tudelft.nl>
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Cc:
Xref: rcfnews.cs.umass.edu comp.sys.amiga.hardware:97834 comp.sys.amiga.programmer:71523
>Wildfire (cm4bctrd@bs47c.staffs.ac.uk) wrote:
>>YES!!! TOASTER-PC is HERE!!!
In article <40bakb$2en@liberator.et.tudelft.nl>,
Maarten D. de Jong wrote:
>Reading this, I thought blaz... oops, BLAZEMONGER had returned..
Nope - but the BLAZEMONGER INCORPORATED "Legal Department" is
gearing up for a massive look-and-feel lawsuit.... Or maybe that
would be a "rip-your-eyes-and-fingers-off" lawsuit. :-)
>Say, what the hell happened to BLAZEMONGER?
Still here, and still developing our famous VIOLENTWARE (TM) series
of products. Coming soon: BCP/IP, the LATEST and GREATEST networking
product EVER!! Forget all those WIMPY network protocols that do nothing but
transmit useless BITS and BYTES. BCP/IP gets REAL work done by transmitting
YOU, IN THE FLESH, from computer to computer!! Just hop into our tiny,
custom vehicle, the PACKET PULVERIZER, and you'll be WHISKED AWAY over the
Internet to any computer you desire in mere PICO-SECONDS!!! Why settle for
WEENIE-QUALITY remote logins when you can actually *BE* THERE, SNIFFING THE
SILICON??!??
And just to make things a bit more CHALLENGING, BCP/IP chooses the
FASTEST and MOST DANGEROUS ROUTES for getting from one Internet computer to
another. You'll pass through THOUSANDS OF KILOMETERS of DEADLY cabling,
populated with DROOLING, ACID-BREATHING DEATH MONSTERS and their cute little
puppies who will LEAP onto the PACKET PULVERIZER, CLAW at the impenetrable
DIAMOND ARMOR PLATING, and SCREAM IN DELIGHT at the prospect of SWALLOWING
YOU WHOLE. Sorta like what Escom did. :-)
Does BCP/IP support Mosaic and the World Wide Web? FORGET IT!!!!
Those are SO TOTALLY wimpy that ANYBODY who uses them should be PERMANENTLY
TIED to their Mama's APRON STRINGS with RAZOR WIRE. Instead, BCP/IP supports
the new, emerging, Internet hypersystem: the BOTTOMLESS BLAZEMONGER
BOMBSHELTER!!! Yes, "BBB" will soon be the UNIVERSAL STANDARD for REAL
MULTIMEDIA on the Net!!! Forget all of WWW's stupid GIF images, bulleted
lists of LIES, and digitally sampled SHEEP NOISES! BBB gives EVERY Internet
user EXACTLY what he or she DESERVES. Heh heheh. CHECK OUT these STUNNING
FEATURES:
o Unique "Point and EXPLODE" user interface!!
o Powerful SEARCH ENGINE for finding the best BBB sites!!
No more typing in stupid keywords! Just THINK about the
kind of sites you'd like to visit, and ZZZZZZZOOOOMMMMMMM...
you're there!! Headfirst!!!
o Parallel processing! Visit multiple BBB sites simulaneously
by letting yourself be RIPPED TO SHREDS and then sent over
the wire (via BCP/IP) to ANY COMBINATION OF SITES!!!
o Create your own BBB "Home Cage" where you can keep all kinds
of NASTY, EVIL CREATURES for other "surfers" to find....
Once you have your BCP/IP and BBB software up and running, make sure
to visit BLAZEMONGER's "Home Cage" at the address:
bttp://bbb.BLAZEMONGER.com/~napalm
Who said that networking can't be violent AND fun?
Dan
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| Dan Barrett -- Computer Science Dept, University of MA, Amherst, MA 01003 |
| http://www.cs.umass.edu/~barrett/public.html -- barrett@cs.umass.edu |
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Note: all old BLAZE articles are available on our Web page, above.
---
Copyright 1995 by Daniel J. Barrett. All rights reserved.
This article may be freely distributed as long as it is distributed in its
entirety. It may not be included in any publication without the written
permission of the author. So nyaaah.
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