From: barrett@cs.umass.edu (Daniel Barrett)
Newsgroups: comp.sys.amiga.misc
Subject: VIScorp purchased by BLAZEMONGER INC!
Date: 19 Apr 1996 02:22:32 GMT

	Yes, Amiga fans, the rumors are true!  As of six hours ago,
VIScorp has been purchased in a surprise takeover by BLAZEMONGER
INCORPORATED.  VIScorp chief honcho and generally cool guy Carl
Saskatchewan is reportedly "delighted" with the acquisition and looks
forward to an "er... unusual product line" to be introduced at next
month's WORLD OF BLAZEMONGER conference in Chickenmilk, Wisconsin.

	Among the products to be introduced at the W.O.B. are:

o	The Amiga ST:  a set-top computer that, when attached to
	any television set, automatically converts all incoming
	programs into reruns of "Gilligan's Island."

o	Sidecar II, an IBM PC emulator roughly the size of
	the Queen Elizabeth II luxury liner.  Comes complete with
	torpedos.

o	BLAZESCAPE, the ONLY World Wide Web browser capable of
	connecting to ALTERNATE DIMENSIONS.  Features multithreading,
	HTML 6.0, and new Virtual Java (TM) which beams cool
	animations DIRECTLY into your CEREBRAL CORTEX with a
	sledgehammer.

o	The AmigaBICEP 5000, their new top-of-the-line computer.  In
	direct contrast to the original Amiga 1000, which used an
	off-the-shelf CPU and a custom graphics chipset, BLAZEMONGER
	INCORPORATED has decided to use an off-the-shelf graphics
	chipset and a custom CPU.  Known as the BLAZEIUM chip, this
	little speed demon runs at a blazing 2,000,000 tychohertz (10
	to the power 8275, base 19) and features over EIGHT BILLION
	REGISTERS for the ULTIMATE in hardware banging!!!

o	And of course, BLAZEMONGER MCXLVII: "FATAL DEATH KILLERS OF
	ARMAGEDDON."  [Availability is pending the overturn of the
	Communications Decency Act, and possibly the Geneva Convention.]

See you in Chickenmilk!!

                                                        Dan

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| Dan Barrett -- Computer Science Dept, University of MA, Amherst, MA 01003 |
| http://www.cs.umass.edu/~barrett/public.html   --    barrett@cs.umass.edu |
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Copyright 1996 by Daniel J. Barrett.
This article may be freely distributed as long as it is distributed in its
entirety.  It may not be included in any publication without the written
permission of the author.  So nyaaah.